Let's trade mix CDs.

"We should trade mix CDs."

Where do you live?

"Outside your postal code / state / country. Why? Is that a problem?"

Well... not necessarily. But the last person I promised to mail a mix CD to has been waiting for three or four years. And there was this other chick whom I dropped 20 dollars on at Sanrio while she was overseas. That was... five years ago? And I haven't so much as bought stamps yet. Yeah.

"I've got time."

So you think. But if you get hit by a low-flying passenger bus, you better not haunt me.

"Tch. If I die, I'm gonna haunt someone sexy."

You mean someone... less... sexy?

"Lead pipe to the thorax! Aw yeah!"

Wh-? Are you playing a video game while we're talking?

"Hold on dude. Sadie wants to talk to you."

"hay nate! whattup duders"

I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone named Sadie.

"omgooses you silly dweeb- this is saders from the new jersey health convention"

I've never in my life been to New Jersey. And a health convention sounds either completely salutary or entirely hazardous.

"these are satyrs from the convex heliotrope gardens"

No such thing. Ever.

"are u listening to bloodstone by amon tobin???"

Well, I was. Wait. What is this? Put the other guy back on. Put, uh- Who was I talking to before?

"jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!! jaaaaake!"

"Okay. I'm back."

I'm really confused right now.

"Oh, I'm filling an envelope with glitter and matches. Gimme your address."

No. You give me your address and I'll send you a link to a Google Maps page showing local psychiatric help.

"Is it sexy psychiatric help?"

I'm going with yes...